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与您的孩子谈论Alison Trachtman Hill博士重要的事情 ,布鲁克林字母When you think about the most important skills to teach your kids, what comes to mind At the top of my list are the four C s – critical thinking, collaboration, communication, and creativity. While many of our amazing schools prioritize teaching these skills to our kids, so much of what they need to learn in these areas can and should come from us, their parents. Yet, many of us just don't know where to start.

Turns out, there s a process that can help us figure this out. To create a home life where everyone feels safe enough to explore. To help us respond thoughtfully to our kids questions and needs, rather than react without thought. To have meaningful conversations with our teen about things that matter.

如果我们致力于在生活中树立同情心的做法,那么我们就可以为教授这些技能奠定基础。事实证明,同理心是真正的家庭动态游戏规则改变者。

所以,我所说的移情练习到底是什么意思

Well, empathy is about stepping into the shoes of other people, understanding their feelings and perspectives, and using that understanding to guide our actions. It's different from expressions of sympathy – like pity or feeling sorry for somebody – because these don't involve our trying to understand the other person’s emotions or point of view.

Sometimes, empathy is misunderstood as the golden rule – do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The reason this isn t quite right is that the golden rule assumes that the person you are trying to empathize with would want you to do for them what you would want done for you it assumes that your interests coincide with theirs.

What empathy really is is more like the platinum rule do unto others as they would have you do unto them. The platinum rule asks us to resist the temptation of projecting our own experiences, views or needs onto others, and to understand them and their needs well enough to do what they want from us, and not just do what we would want from them.

当要建立有助于您与孩子更好地联系的同理心练习时,使用白金规则代替黄金规则可能看起来像这样:即使您5岁的自己会喜欢以体育为主题的生日聚会,抵制为您5岁的艺术爱好者策划幼儿园奥运会的冲动。相反,请计划您的孩子真正想要的艺术主题派对(白金规则),而不是您孩子想要的那个年龄的派对(黄金法则)。

And guess what Your kids can do this with you and one another, too. Children as young as two or three have the ability to put themselves in someone else s shoes, meaning they can practice (cognitive) empathy. This also means that they can practice the platinum rule alongside you. For example, when my son used to see his big sister crying or sad, he d offer her his paci, since that s what made him feel better. As he got older, however, and he saw she was sad, he d go and find her lovie going from the golden rule to the platinum rule understanding that what she needed from him was what made her feel better, not what made him feel better.

您如何使用白金规则来帮助您与孩子就有意义的事情进行有意义的对话

第二种共情是关注共同的情感反应-以自动的,无意识的方式反映他人的情感(情感共情)。例如,考虑一下您在工作中或在学校中的协作经验。花点时间提醒自己,当事情进展顺利,团队内部事情变得复杂且项目停滞时,您的感觉如何。与孩子谈论与他人在项目中或与团队一起玩耍时出现的东西时,请使用这些记忆和感觉。

练习情感共情会如何帮助您更好地与孩子建立联系,例如与他人合作等话题

Empathy is all about tuning in with yourself and your kids. It's about thoughtful reflection, deep understanding and careful listening all of which are super important when you re having conversations with your kids about the things that matter most.

Alison Trachtman Hill?? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????? www.ci4y.com.

 

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