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¿Divorciandose? Cuando se trata de ayudar a sus hijos a adaptarse adecuadamente: Anticípese a los problemas y minimice sus efectos [Parte 2], por Susannah Gersten, MSW, LCSW, Psicoterapeuta

Por 17 de enero de 2012 #!31Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800p5731#31Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800p-5-08:003131-08:00x31 31am31am-31Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800p5-08:003131-08:00x312020Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800185187amFriday=3557#!31Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800p-08:007#July 31st, 2020#!31Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800p5731#/31Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800p-5-08:003131-08:00x31#!31Fri, 31 Jul 2020 05:18:57 -0800p-08:007# Sin comentarios

Minimiza el problema:
As much as possible, do not encourage your kids to side with you over their other parent. Empathize with them, help them problem solve if it feels appropriate. But remember, your child does not have the option of divorce from their parent. They need to find ways to deal with their other parent in a way that will work for them for the rest of their lives. Therefore, do not allow your children to polarize the two of you in this way. Neither you nor your ex are perfect and your child needs to learn how to have the best possible relationship with both of you that they can. Sometimes it helps to stop for a minute and remember that there was a reason you married this person in the first place, and no matter how far away that seems at this point, your children are still hanging onto those positive qualities. It is in their best interest to have as close of a bond with both of you as possible, despite whatever long list of imperfections have now presented themselves in your ex. If you don't feel that you can be a somewhat neutral source of support for your child when it comes to issues with their other parent, find them someone else to talk to.
Do not vent your own frustrations about your ex to your child. There are many other appropriate people to discuss your own ongoing feelings of anger and frustration about your ex with. Your child is not one of those people.
Although you may be angry at your ex, DO find ways to be on the same team. You owe it to your children to maintain communication with your ex in some way, shape, or form, and maintain consistent rules and expectations for your kids at both houses. If you cannot communicate on the phone without fighting, try texting or emailing. If you still cannot communicate, seek help. Therapy is a great way to show children that even though you no longer live under one roof, you are all still a family and are willing to do what it takes to make the family work in a way that benefits the children without getting back together.

*Remember that you don’t have to be alone and out of social resources to seek professional help. Sometimes a therapist can be a great non-biased ear for you, your ex, and your children to vent to during this difficult time.

Susannah Gersten es una psicoterapeuta con sede en Brooklyn con experiencia en salud mental y servicios de asesoramiento basados en la comunidad en Park Slope, lo que la hace invaluable en la construcción de relaciones con las escuelas y otros servicios en el área. En su práctica privada, Susannah ofrece terapia de juego con niños pequeños, así como control de conducta, planes de conducta y otras técnicas que involucran tanto a los niños como a su familia. También ofrece psicoterapia para parejas y familias, con el fin de ayudar a los padres y la familia a abordar cualquier preocupación subyacente en el sistema familiar. Dirige un grupo de psicoterapia asistida por equinos para niños de secundaria de los establos de Kensington para tratar la ansiedad, la timidez y la depresión.

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